Thursday, December 10, 2009

Survival Secrets of The Kenmore Arms

How To Get Out Of Bed In The Morning:
Remind yourself that there are flowers that need tending to in the kitchen. They are depending on you and you alone. (Note: Straight men do not care about flowers.) They are behaving very politely about the situation (as flowers usually do), but save an immediate infusion of fresh water and some zealous clipping of stems, they will soon be limper than Stephen Tennant's wrist.

Once there, locate the tea accoutrements and brew oneself an exotic wake-up call.

How To Get One's Child Out Of Bed in the Morning:
Tell him that if he takes a quick shower, brushes his teeth, gets dressed and eats his breakfast, he might have time to watch one episode of "Phineas and Ferb" before we leave for school.

How to Excite A Cat:
Absentmindedly leave dining room doors ajar. Watch as feline instantly sneaks in on a blissful mission to mess up books, tamper with guitar and continue his unwavering quest to shred the back of sofa.

How to Motivate Oneself For Carpool Duty:
Hang out your beloved Dries Van Noten coat the evening before. Tell yourself that if you keep it buttoned up, no one will be able to see your pajamas underneath when you drive through the school dropoff line.

How to Prepare Oneself for Six Hours of Sewing:
Remind yourself of all the interesting words you get to sew.

How To Pay Bills In A Timely Fashion:
Keep an inspirational quote handy...

...and a stern face within your gaze at all times.
(Dominick Dunne, 1925-2009)

After A Quiet Day, How To Prepare Oneself For The Onslaught That Lies Ahead:
Remind yourself that though it is a truly marvel of science that so much noise can burst forth from one tiny body...
(Luca)'s nothing a couple of earplugs can't overcome.
(Written nine days before his birthday. Hmmm....)


Rocio said...

we all have our secrets, don't we?? :) - those poor poor flowers !!
BTW, in love with your son - if my 3 year old wrote those notes to me (ehem...she cannot write yet!!) I would forgive all the noise she makes too!!!
Have a lovely day.

pve design said...

You have the sort of survival skills I need and this post serves as a good reminder. You should box them and sell it on e-bay, sort of a modern day aid kit.

French Fancy... said...

Are those your interiors - if so your home looks beautiful and if not, well I am sure your home is nicer than that :)

As for your son - simply gorgous

ArchitectDesign™ said...

That note from your son is so adorable. I love all of your helpful hints!

Mrs. Blandings said...

That coat over pjs in the carpool line sounds like the best way to start the day. I cannot wait to see the finished work.

You're never mean? Mine like me, but they would never say that.

Emma said...

Love the coat! I just recently wrote a post about bloomsbury and Dries Van Noten had a collection 2004 with inspiration from bloomsbury and your coat would fit right in!

Lisa Borgnes Giramonti said...

Rocio, Ms. Blandings, Architect Design: That note is a prime example of my son picking up charm school lessons from his father. He wrote that in my birthday card this year and as his is a mere nine days later, I think he was trying to earn some bonus points. I have no idea who the woman he's referring to is. :)

French Fancy: All photos were taken this past Monday on home turf.

Lisa Borgnes Giramonti said...

Emma: I MUST read your post asap. It sounds divine. And I think I purchased the coat in 2003 or 2004 -- wonder if it's from the collection you're referring to? I had no idea Dries Van Noten used Bloomsbury as his influence...I just knew I had to own it! xx

Jane said...

Love those handy hints. I certainly use no 1 Flowers and also no 3 Children getting ready. No matter how superior people are about television the fact is it is the best prompt to quick getting ready for sleepy children I know! My 7 year old reminds me of me as a university student! Love the door through door photo too.xoxo

Angie Muresan said...

Oh, what a sweet, sweet boy! I bet he got a super nice present.

DM said...

Love this post!

That coat!! no words to describe it
and i love your hand card holder thingy! where'd you find that gem!

ta for now

Thomas Hogglestock said...

Oh, snap. Did you just out Stephen Tennant? :)

LPC said...

You are cross stitching the word "gin." Where were you when I rejected all thoughts of needlepoint out of hand? Your son looks like a little angel. There are noisy angels, you know.

Lisa Borgnes Giramonti said...

Daniel-Halifax: Oh, that Victorian hand. I found it a couple of months ago at Wurtz Brothers Antique Mart in Santa Monica. It was used to hold the cards women would drop off when visiting friends. I love it too.

Thomas at my Porch: I think the dear boy outed himself. :) Have you read "Serious Pleasures", his biography? I am kind of obsessed with him. Love his no-holds-barred approach to decadence...he was such a fabulous ethereal creature! Did you click on the link on his name to the NYT article? It's kind of genius.

froogal said...

I think your sons note to you would make a wonderful embroidery...bribe or is precious.

Thomas Hogglestock said...

Hee hee, yes he did out himself didn't he. I think I must have read Serious Pleasures when it first came out. At the time I didn't really know anything about him or his circle but being a good little gay college boy I checked it out from the library anyway.

I just read on wikipedia that he proposed marriage to Elizabeth Bowen! SP may have included that little tidbit, but I didn't know who she was back then either so it wouldn't have registered. Boy, youth really is wasted on the young.

GrannySmithGreen said...

Great post! By the way, did anyone see the pj's under your great coat? Also, I'm with Kathy G-embroider the note. It's just priceless!

Diane Dorrans Saeks said...

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa-

Humor! Your Humor!

That's how to get through the day.


Gin, indeed, on needlepoint.

Daily life is a laugh.
Soy chai latte (what madness is this?
Yesterday at Peet's coffee I heard a woman ordering a 'half soy half non fat latte'. My head was spinning. What is that and why?
I was at the time ordering a 'small decaf latte in a medium cup'...but wait, there is logic leaves room for the cold milk I add so that I can drink it right away.'
Sushi roll. Yes.
Your comment on modern life. Priceless.

cheers, DIANE

Ouiser B. said...

Another charming and witty post, thank you! And I love all your "motivational" advice. I've got two boys under two and I use a BIG glass of good wine as a motivator to clean up the living room after they are in bed. Sipping a great wine and looking at a tidy living room makes me smile.

home before dark said...

Nine year olds are the best: old enough to know; young enough to still believe. Enjoy while you can!

A Super Dilettante said...

I'm absolutely charmed by the description of your cat as well as a lovely note written by Luca!!

Scott Fazzini said...

I may have said it before, but it bares repeating... you've got a wicked knack for storytelling. I'd love to live one day in the shadow of you; intensely studying your delicate approach to each moment, surveying your alliance between creature and bloom, and analyzing your appreciation fare and libation.

Jeremiah said...

<<(Note: Straight men do not care about flowers.)>>

Oh please. Don't go all straightest on us. I care about flowers--I care deeply.

Anonymous said...

I love your needlepoint. Will you indulge us by revealing the lines obscured by the red lampshade and chair?

Lisa Borgnes Giramonti said...

Jeremiah: I have obviously been hanging out with the wrong men.

My sampler reads...

"In days gone by,
A work like mine
Would have admirers
all in line.
No more are home arts
prized like rubies,
Today we must have
perky boobies."

The Blasphemous Fiendess said...

I'm not normally a fan of florist roses but those ones look divine. Great post!

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

You blog is brilliant and I'm charmed. I'll be sure to stop by from time to time.
You take care.

prashant said...

would forgive all the noise she makes too!!!
Have a lovely day.

Work from home India

Nishant said...

You should box them and sell it on e-bay, sort of a modern day aid kit.

Work from home India

kanishk said...

I would forgive all the noise she makes too!!!
Have a lovely day.

Wagyu Steaks

kanishk said...

You should box them and sell it on e-bay, sort of a modern day aid kit.

wagyu steak

The Duchess said...

ADORE your son's note to you. How precious. I recently displayed on my bedroom wall my 5 year old's depiction of "Spunchbob" (spelled phonetically of course).
The Duchess

Sildenafil Citrate said...

one of the most difficult things in my life is to get out of my bed, every morning when I wake up I don't want to get up and go to work, I really hate it, I need a telecommuting job immediately!

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